2019-10-24



00:00
there’s like this huge pressure right
00:01
for bottom’s to always be super clean
00:03
super immaculate Oh bottoms always gotta
00:05
be clean but then the top will come and
00:07
like offer you some cheesy as no homey
00:09
ain’t nobody trying to have no coat
00:10
these are flavored okay keep that
00:13
mozzarella to yourself and that’s where
00:15
I come in hey guys my name is Anthony
00:22
I’m a designer and I’m Puerto Rican hey
00:23
guys my name is Joaquin I’m a community
00:25
organizer and I’m a brown boy I’m
00:27
Christian I’m an underwriter for an auto
00:29
finance company and a Mexican and so now
00:31
we’re gonna get into the fun
00:32
conversation everybody identifying and
00:35
positions and everything I identify as
00:37
mostly now in my relationship has a
00:40
bottom but I also verse I feel
00:42
empowerment in both spectrums in my
00:43
relationship that I was in for four
00:45
years I bought him too mostly believing
00:47
the relationship I wanted to feel this
00:49
type of empowerment and I found that
00:50
within topping obviously I’m playing
00:52
into fluidity and being versed but I
00:54
think I’m leaning more towards being a
00:56
top identify as a top I can honestly say
00:58
that I tried you know bottoming it
01:00
wasn’t comfortable for me I just didn’t
01:01
enjoy it above all as much as you think
01:03
something’s gonna come out it’s not I
01:05
mean it’s pretty in that’s pretty in
01:10
there cuz you know that also plays a
01:12
role in to you know comfort this is
01:14
bubblegum flavored
01:16
I just grab a little bit weight this
01:19
sucks okay don’t eat it all because that
01:21
was my problem put it on your lips and
01:23
you grow up circular motions it’s edible
01:25
and then a hey sailor gets these lips
01:27
exfoliate it for you how do they look I
01:31
mean I think as a top honestly I will
01:33
say that there is a lot of times when we
01:35
can be really inconsiderate it’s like
01:36
you know if it’s a lot more sporadic and
01:37
it’s just flows and it happens and you
01:39
don’t know that your partner’s in the
01:41
bathroom douching and it is a little bit
01:42
of a mental thing so let’s talk about
01:44
toxic top skin and any I think that
01:47
there’s this feeling of entitlement and
01:49
privilege that comes with being a top
01:51
something’s has negative connotations or
01:53
has negative like effects on community i
01:56
as a louse which is a term that nobody
01:59
ever really talks about just being a
02:00
feminine top in the day like you have to
02:03
be who you want to be it’s not easy for
02:05
example you know I’m again I’m tall you
02:08
know a top supposed to be masculine I
02:10
just got to an age where I’m like you
02:12
know
02:12
like I just got be comfortable with
02:13
myself yeah I feminine every now and
02:15
then or you know whatever or something
02:17
comes out then it is what it is for a
02:18
couple years it was kind of like you
02:19
know what like I gotta get it together I
02:20
gotta like that certain way I gotta like
02:22
present myself a certain way there’s a
02:23
lot of pressure to like perform and you
02:25
have to like figure out all these
02:26
different ways to make them feel like
02:28
this whole experience was the best
02:29
experience they ever had exactly so what
02:36
I use honestly it’s all-inclusive like
02:39
three in one lotion Riaan one is the
02:42
most tough thing I’ve ever little bit
02:46
and it’s a little on the muscular side
02:47
which I like it smells like a whole man
02:49
also all this is a vacation is just
02:51
giving me ideas as queer gay men we tend
02:56
to shame bottoming more than we do tops
02:58
right for my experience I think it goes
03:00
back to like this culture of machismo
03:02
where femininity is seen less than and I
03:05
think as bottoms we experience that me
03:07
being smaller and let me know it’s like
03:09
a huge thing because I always get
03:10
stereotyped right into that obviously
03:12
being shorter and I know that might be a
03:14
little just psychological you feel
03:15
already smaller than most people that
03:18
you’re around the last thing I need to
03:19
feel like is that I’m anything less than
03:21
what I will say that as a you know as a
03:23
top
03:24
I just appreciate when someone knows our
03:25
plays they’re comfortable with who they
03:27
are just in general the confidence of it
03:29
just I appreciate that I think it’s
03:30
really about empowering ourselves and
03:32
just knowing like what do you like then
03:33
being able to enjoy your sex life when
03:35
it comes to it so my holy grail is
03:38
lactic acid okay you’re gonna just grab
03:39
this you’re gonna dab this into your
03:41
skin you never like really drag your
03:43
skin you want to like always try to dab
03:44
in again as a top I did not know that
03:47
when you went to top school and you
03:49
graduated they didn’t grab you it wasn’t
03:51
in your handbook so I completely
03:52
understand why you know I kind of
03:55
weirdly enough I’m a little pale so I
03:57
put a little bit of healthy color in my
03:58
skin what I do is I just grab it and i
04:00
dab it like this and then I end up just
04:02
like putting it on the cheek like that
04:04
this looks great on you
04:06
right I’m ready how does that look like
04:11
a little Mexican geisha as bottoms we
04:16
really have to be able to communicate
04:18
probably one of the things that we
04:19
struggle more as a community because of
04:21
the than the hardships I think that we
04:23
go through communication is not always
04:25
our best thing as a top then it’s like
04:27
well what am I doing wrong am I not
04:28
performing you know you have to be
04:29
honest yeah you know and that’s where
04:31
conversation you know is key a
04:33
regardless of how you identify er was
04:35
really about coming up with a game time
04:37
when it comes to your sex around
04:38
pleasure
04:39
yeah safety consent consent and since
04:42
then is the biggest thing right consent
04:44
is sexy also you can be a femme top it’s
04:47
okay everywhere do it in bed right at
04:49
home get in the mall do everyone if
04:51
you’re the top and you want to figure
04:53
out love divine and you love drag queens
04:55
and you love you know anything feminine
04:57
it’s okay like fuck it who cares so I
04:59
could be on top and still be a west
05:01
coast gangsta
05:03
[Music]

◊♦◊

Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood



◊♦◊
Talk to you soon. If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Log in if you wish to renew an existing subscription.

Username

Email

First Name

Last Name

Password

Password Again

Choose your subscription level
Annual Platinum - $50.00 -  1 Year Annual Gold - $25.00 -  1 Year Annual Bronze - $12.00 -  1 Year
Credit / Debit Card PayPalChoose Your Payment Method

Auto Renew
Subscribe to The Good Men Project Daily Newsletter By completing this registration form, you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service which can be found here.



 

Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.





The post 2 Bears 1 Otter Talk Identity, Masculinity, and Bottom Shaming appeared first on The Good Men Project.
#FeaturedContent #InclusiveMasculinity #SexualShaming #LGBTQCommunity #Bits&Pieces
FeaturedContent InclusiveMasculinity SexualShaming LGBTQCommunity Bits